I am never going to give up. No matter how weak I feel. No matter how sad…no matter anything. I will always fight. I will keep pushing forward and I will find that happiness that I am looking for. I will create that happiness. I only need the smallest speck of belief that it is possible…and I will turn that into the strength that I need. I struggle with sadness…but I will win. It hasn’t stopped me yet. It can’t. Because I know that is not an option. I literally can’t stop. If I stop…everything will come crashing down. Everything inside of me will die. This is just my truth. It has always been my truth. I won’t stop. But sometimes I wish I could. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t scared to quit. Sometimes I wish I felt strong enough to quit. I wish I could stop caring. Because then it would stop hurting.
I know that not everyone will understand what I am talking about. But for those that do, it is real. And it is hard.
But I will overcome it and I will keep overcoming it. That is what I need to keep telling myself. I took my time to sleep, to try and escape, to let the depression pass through me just enough so that I can begin to see through the fog again, enough so that I can get back up and find my way again. And every time I get back up, I get back up with more strength than I had when I fell down. Because what caused me to fall before will not cause me to fall again. Because I have felt that pain and I have experienced that sadness…and I know what it takes to be ready for it next time.
The best is yet to come ❤