Maybe it’s the meds talking…

I am soooo bored! I don’t know if it’s the meds…but since I have had nothing to do all day but lay in bed and try and keep myself entertained I have thought a lot 😛 haha and I have just gotta say that I am so incredibly thankful for everything I have been able to experience over these past 9 years. Life is crazy and so full of surprises! I have had so many ups and downs it has been insane. I have felt insane. But nothing good comes easy. And lately, I have been feeling so incredibly good. Maybe it was the seizure. Maybe the seizure did that reboot thing and helped buzz everything out of me that was fogging me up inside. I don’t know…but I am so thankful for so many things in my life right now. I am thankful to be living with my grandparents because they are above and beyond amazing people and it would have really sucked if I would have missed out on getting to know them like this. They have helped me to create a sense of peace in my life and both of them have taught me so much it is crazy! My grandma has helped remind me about all of the good things the dollartree store has to offer. I realized that I had become a little brainwashed into thinking that if something was more expensive that it was somehow better…but that is so far from the truth. Things these days are ridiculously expensive and it seems like we just pay for them and don’t even think twice. Credit cards, debit cards…online shopping…all of it has taken the reality of what we are really doing out of the equation. We forget to think and to question things and to say “screw that!! That is a ridiculous price for a freaking shirt!” haha But really, I love hearing my grandma and grandpa look at the price tags on things and sound disgusted at how overly priced everything is. They have definitely taught me a million other things…but we are just gonna leave it there for now 😛

I am also thankful for the fact that I worked so hard over these past 9 years…and it has truly paid off. I can really be the best role model that I could possibly be for kids that need it. This is so amazing to see…

I am glad that I can be something different in this world…I feel like because of my struggles and the things I have had to overcome I am given the ability to fight against the brainwashing perspectives of society that can consume us.

I have always said from the very beginning of my accident that I knew it happened to teach me something. To help me to become a better person, a stronger person. I needed this accident. I know I still have depression…but lately, I haven’t felt like I do. Words can’t even begin to describe how lucky I feel to have all of the amazing people that I have all around me. Like Holy sh***!!! I am beyond blessed to have these amazing people in my life! And I know that I wouldn’t have them in it if I hadn’t gone through what I did.

I could go on and on and download and post a million pictures of the amazing people I have met, and I want to, but I have to learn to just relax a little and be okay with accepting less from myself. Less in a good way. Knowing that I don’t have to name every single person in order for them to know how much they mean to me. That I don’t HAVE to express how much they mean to me in some crazy long essay. I need to just be okay with allowing myself to just be. I would do a lot more if I would stop holding myself back with such high expectations.

I love having a blog…because I can just ramble and not have to make sense. And the people that read it are the people that want to read it. I don’t make myself edit it…I just post 😛 haha